What I Did Wrong the Last Time Around

My response in November to Trump winning the election was severe: I could barely eat or sleep for a week. I know I'm not alone in this response but it was physical and visceral and really, really shitty.

And I realized that my response was a reaction not just to the news but to my memories of how I dealt with the first horrible four years of Trump which can be summarized as NOT WELL. 

I spent four years freaked out and anxious and protesting and advocating and exhausted. Last time I made the mistake of thinking that if I wasn't angry I wasn't doing my part, as though I was holding up the world with my rage and if I stopped feeling angry for a moment, everything would collapse. Besides showing an embarrassing level of egotism, this response led to such severed burnout that by time the 2020 election rolled around and Trump was defeated, I didn't feel much joy. I was so fucking tired that I just collapsed in relief. And even after the Biden administration brought some level of sanity back to my daily life, I was numb and found myself still fighting off waves of depression. 

So on the day after the 2024 election, the idea of going back to that emotional state made me think FUCK NO and my body shut down.

This time around the horrors are much worse: smarter people than me are documenting the destruction being wrought on individuals and institutions and it is coming fast and furious. We are only three weeks in as I write this and it is clear that however long this administration is in power, it's going to be a shitshow of epic proportions.

But I've decided that the one thing under my control is my response. I will not go back to that state of despair and exhaustion. I am still protesting and advocating but equally important to my remaining functional is my daily mindset and so I'm adopting the following mantra:

Fiercely Protecting My Joy

(or more accurately)

Fucking Fiercely Protecting My Fucking Joy

As the oh so wise Rebecca Solnit says: “Joy doesn’t betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you fearful, alienated, and isolated, joy is a fine initial act of insurrection. Let us be fed by revolutionary joy."

I'll be sharing a few things that help me protect my sanity and my joy here. Please feel free to share what brings you joy because we can use all the ideas available to us. 

Let's start with an easy one: people who make you laugh. Oh my god laughter is great therapy for anxiety and stress. Here is a 6.5 minute video from one of my favorite comedians, Chris Fleming (here's a link to his web page that his appearance dates). I was lucky to get to see him live at the Ark this past summer and I left with my stomach muscles aching as though I'd been doing a core workout for the whole show, that's how much I laughed. Maybe this video will help you ignite your own fierce joy today.