Saturday, March 15, 2025

Fighting Overwhelm

Jesus Christ, what a fucking week! We're all suffering, simultaneously flirting with crazy and despair, so today is a good day for some constructive, enriching ways to fight overwhelm.

Good Stories

One of my main ways of fighting overwhelm is reading. 

Last summer I received a request from a friend who was going through a rough patch to send them a list of books that made them feel better about humanity. They didn't want happy-clappy books: while sometimes a fluffy novel that is written just for fun is what your brain needs, they were finding that type of book irritating. They wanted a book that both admitted that being human is hard, but that ultimately is hopeful or beautiful. I could not have asked for a better assignment to come up with a list because these are some of my favorite types of books. 

So if you are looking for a little mental sanctuary in the face of some pretty damn hard days, here are a few that I suggest you check out. I've linked to my mini reviews of each book on Goodreads so you can see if you think it would be your cup of tea:

The Queen of Dirt Island by Donal Ryan (also an exquisitely read audio book)
The End of Vandalism by Tom Drury
Deacon King Kong by James McBride
The Little Animals by Sarah Tolmie
These Precious Days by Ann Patchett
Just Like You by Nick Hornby
The Patron Saint of Pregnant Girls by Ursula Hegi
Love by Roddy Doyle
Harlem Shuffle by Colson Whitehead
TransAtlantic by Colum McCann (also a beautiful audio book)
When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Good Voices

In a similar vein, when reading takes too much effort or you need a different voice to replace the worry-voice in your head while you walk the dog or make dinner or paint the fucking house, here are some excellent podcast episodes.  

I recently sent a friend list of favorite podcast episodes after a phone call where we were commiserating about needing other voices in our heads. It's no surprise that some of these voices are comedians, since finding someone who makes you laugh is pure gold, but these aren't really laugh-a-minute episodes. Rather they are funny people being, for lack of a better word, wise. 

I am rationing the episodes of this podcast because I love it so much. It is tender, it is loving, and it centers on voices of older women who have been through so much shit and are ready to talk about it. My favorite episode ever (though again, I haven't listened to them all since I save them for when I really need an episode) is the conversation Julia had with Patti Smith which includes some gorgeous meditations on what is important and what is just garbage that you can ignore. The episode also had numerous tech issues and breakdowns during which Julia swears like a sailor every time the line cuts out and they are interrupted and these relatable moments makes me love this episode even more; I'm so glad they didn't edit them out. Another wonderful episode is her conversation with Anne Lamott and includes helpful parenting advice like "shut the hell up" and big dose of Anne Lamott's simultaneous exasperation and love of the world.

I confess, I don't really enjoy Mike Birbiglia as a comedian. I don't find his comedy terribly interesting or memorable, but he is really smart about the craft of comedy and he's a really good interviewer of comedians who I love. His podcast is available both in video and audio versions and listening to him talk to Gary Gulman or Chris Fleming or Tig Nataro or David Sedaris (all of whose comedy I love) is like getting to eavesdrop on the funniest, smartest people having a great conversation. 

Another comedian whose interviews I enjoy more than their standup is Marc Maron. His interview with the glorious Maria Bamford where they discuss their addictions and mental health challenges and the craft and business of comedy is just the perfect pairing of interviewer and subject (one of the worst interviews of Maria Bamford I ever heard was on the normally excellent Fresh Air where Tanya Mosely sounded worried every time that Maria Bamford talked about her mental illness, as though Mosely was about to end the interview to call a psychiatrist.) Marc laughs and understands whenever Maria talks about addiction and suicidal ideation and the two together remind us all that the world and humans are so stupid and messy and ridiculous that laughter is really the only sensible response. Marc has a huge library of episodes so he has probably talked to someone you find interesting.

For a little pivot away from laughter, there's a podcast about grief that I find extremely comforting. Grief is a topic that people avoid and facing it head on is so refreshing and helpful. While the podcast is focused on grief at the death of a loved one, you can be grieving other things, say, the death of democracy in the United States, and find the discussions helpful. This episode with Stephen Colbert is so wise and beautiful that it makes me feel better about the world every time I hear it (yes, I have listened to it more than once), and the episode with Andrew Garfield reminds me that being open to sensation, even difficult sensations like sadness, are a part of the vitality of being alive. 

Good Food

We need to fuel our bodies to have the energy to fight overwhelm and to keep from just lying and looking at the ceiling for hours. 

I've been making this dinner on repeat: it's healthy, it's easy and I think it's crazy delicious. 

Spinach Feta Gnocchi with Salmon

The gnocchi and spinach taste a bit like Spanakopita but without all the effort of fussing with filo dough or turning on the oven!

I loosely modify this recipe for Crispy Gnocchi with Spinach and Feta to suit my tastes (more spinach, less feta, I cook the gnocchi for longer than the recipe calls for because I like them toasty, and no mint because I live with a person who hates mint in savory preparations) but the details of what I do are pretty negligible so just go to the link and print it out and taste it as you make it to tweak it to your own tastes.  You can easily serve it on its own or add some simple pan cooked salmon that pairs really well with it. And when I'm done eating this for dinner, I can almost feel my body saying Thank you for taking care of it.

I hope these suggestions help you treat yourself with a little kindness. 

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