No happy food ramblings today, no strange knitted toys, and not even a little rhapsodic waxing over someone else's wonderfully written novel: today I'm feeling sorry for myself.
I had my hopes up that Brian would follow through on the plan to take the kids up to the cabin for the long weekend thus freeing me to work on my long-neglected novel for 3 days without interruption. But Brian has come down with a pretty bad cold--a sore throat so bad that he has trouble swallowing anything that isn't liquid and noticeable fatigue. I may not always be the most sensitive spouse, but even I know it isn't fair to send the guy off with two insane bundles of energy when he's feeling that lousy.
I was, however, surprised at how disappointed I felt last night when I realized that my mini-writing retreat would not be happening. I've been keeping that part of my brain pretty much in prison since Ian was born (that's almost 5 years, folks) and told myself that realistically I wouldn't have enough time or energy to face it until both kids were in school. I convinced myself that I was ok with this. Brian's suggestion of the free weekend was kind of like an early prisoner release promise that was withdrawn at the last minute. I was already peeking out through the bars and anticipating what freeing that part of my brain would feel like.
Anyway, instead of continuing this poor-me rant, I am going to try something a little more proactive. Today I'm going to call my mother-in-law and see if she will agree to take the kids for one day a week for the summertime which I will turn into my writing day. I already feel guilty suggesting this since she is probably too nice to say no and a full day with them both can be exhausting. But hopefully the guilt I feel will motivate me to use the time well: I hereby publicly promise that if I can pull it off I will not end up using the day to run errands, clean the sty-of-a-house, do any of the myriad home improvements we have started and never finished, or even relax with my other 3 obsessions. I will use that day to write.