I call it Kate's Coping Strategy

After a day of a lot of effort for zero gratitude, I mixed myself one of these:
vodka, lemon sorbet, splash of orange juice, club soda, lime and a little pomegranate liqueur poured over some ice. Or basically whatever I could lay my hands on that didn't sound disgusting when mixed together.

Then I took it outside and sat on the front step and watched cars go by on Summit St.

The worst thing about being this fed up with the small people inside the house was that I was also too tired to do anything more restorative than have a big old drink. Too tired to go for a walk on a beautiful evening, too tired to call up a friend and go out for some fun/relief, too tired even to listen to the radio, which is pretty pathetic on the tiredness scale.

I think the worst thing about how I feel is the guilt--I feel incredibly guilt that I am not treasuring every moment with my kids, even when they are being little shits. Sometimes I look at my daughter's hand in mine and think "It'll never be this small again--her hand will get bigger and she will get sick of me and I won't have appreciated the moments that she adored me enough." It doesn't help that I have a really sucky memory for reality. I can recount the plot of a book I read ten years ago, I can recite lines from my favorite poem from senior year of high school (The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock) but for the life of me, I can't remember a lot of significant stuff about my kids' lives, stuff that Brian or my mom will sometimes refer to and I only dimly know what the hell they are talking about.

So while my kids are being ungrateful little wretches and sucking the energy from the marrow of my bones, I feel guilty. Maybe I'd have more energy if I just felt mad.

Though I must say, I do not feel so guilty that I won't spend the damn money to send them to camp next week so that people who are getting paid will deal with them and I will get some time to write.

Meat-fests

We are lucky to be friends with someone who is intent on reproducing Southern barbecue up here in the northern climes. Thanks to his Southern wife, our friend Brian (yep, my husband Brian's best friend which makes life a wee bit confusing when we get the families together. Luckily my Brian is happy to be called "Crazy Brian" so we can be a little clearer in our conversations) has had ample oportunity to sample the real deal and it is our good fortune that he recently invested in this beauty:
The first meat-fest we were invited to was to try out his smoked pulled pork:

Brian transforming the smoked pork shoulder into "pulled" pork.

Sarah made some luscious Southern slow-cooked green beans with ham hocks, black-eyed peas and a peppy vinegar-hot pepper sauce to go with it. I brought the biscuits which were fine, but we all agreed that a slice of squishy Wonder bread would have been better since that is what you'd get with pulled pork in the South.

The meat was fantastic--smokey, tender, moist. There was not a scrap left at the end of the evening and I felt bad that after sweating over the smoker all day, Brian didn't get to look forward to left-over pulled pork sandwiches the next day. (On a related note, there's a wonderful blog entry about "smork"--smoked pulled pork--here.)

Between meat-fests Sarah, the non-crazy Brian and I did a little research in the form of the "blue plate special" on Thursday nights at Zingerman's Roadhouse:
Starting at the left and going clockwise are: pulled pork, brisket, wings, greens and cheese grits (the plate usually comes with mashed potatoes, but I much prefer grits with this line up). It was pretty decent--I liked their brisket best of the meats, but maybe it was just the fact that it had a nice kicky sauce. Their pork was nowhere near as tender and moist and smokey as Brian's. What I really enjoyed were the sides: excellent greens and grits. But then before trying Brian's pork, I never really understood why meat was everyone's focus--a big plate of Southern side dishes is my idea of (artery clogging) bliss.

The second meat-fest we were invited to was to try the Texas-style brisket:
From the left: black eyed peas, the glorious brisket, napa cabbage buttermilk slaw, and broccoli slaw. Not pictured is the slice of Wonder bread (yup, I brought a loaf this time) that I used for brisket eating.

Can you see the pink-ish smoke ring on that brisket? Yum. If forced to choose, I'd say I liked the pork marginally better than the brisket, but I think I might just be a bit more of a pork person than a beef person (cue Jewish grandparents rolling over in their graves...). And I certainly am happy to eat brisket when pork isn't on the menu!

So now the question is what meat product we should pester Brian to smoke next? Suggestions anyone?

ahhhhhh

The kids have been subdued, this is what my sangria pitcher looks like and I feel much better now that the malondialdehyde and hydroperoxide in my system have been neutralized by the polyphenols in the wine. And I also feel better because of the ALCOHOL!

I made it with a bottle of La Vieille Ferme red--super cheap this month at $5.47 a bottle at Plum Market--a lemon, a lime, some sugar, and what was left in the triple sec bottle. The swig of wine I took before dumping it in the pitcher made me think it would be fine without the (ahem) fortifications, no bells and whistles, but perfectly drinkable which is more than I can say for most wine at this price.

uggggggg

The kids have no camp, no plans, no nothing this week and they are driving me nuts. Fiona, at the tender age of 5, has learned to whine "I'm bored" like a droopy teenager. Due to this pleasant state of the homestead, I have come to two realizations: 1) I better find some kind of camp for the other week we have nothing planned or else I'll throttle them and 2) I am not drinking enough wine, especially considering that Slashfood reported on research that red wine increases longevity. It looks like a pitcher of sangria is going to be made and consumed tonight.

Elixir of Life Recipe

Meg was kind enough to e-mail me with the recipe for the Elixir of Life AKA Pomegranate Mojito.

Pomegranate Mojito
makes 1

1 oz Pama Pomegranate Liqueur
1 oz premium white rum
1/2 oz lime juice
2 T simple syrup
about 10 mint leaves
ice
club soda

Muddle syrup and mint leaves in a glass. Fill glass with ice. Add Pama, rum and lime juice. Top with club soda. Garnish with a slice of lime and/or more mint leaves.

Catch Up #2--taking it up yet another notch

Remember how I mentioned that at our last book group meeting Ami took it up a notch? Well Meagan hosted in July and damn if she didn't take it up yet another notch. I seriously don't know how I'm going to host after these displays of elegance...ah well! Luckily I haven't got a competitive bone in my body so I'll just serve food at my dinky table with my mismatched glassware and still have a grand old time!

But I am very happy to go to the homes of friends who are generous enough to include me in their celebration of good taste! Meagan set up this elegant table on her back patio:
While inside Meg used her muddler to great effect:

Ta da! Pomegranate mojitos!

That's how I imagine the elixir of life should look. Oh man, I want one right now...

And it just got prettier from there. Ami made a lovely, labor-intensive appetizer from the French Laundry Cookbook.
Let me see if I can remember all the components--the base is made up of a chopped tomato compote and the green pool around it is chive oil. The next layer up consists of blanched green beans in a thickened cream vinaigrette and it is all topped off with frisee tossed in olive oil and a little sea salt.

There was also a lovely summery fresh mozzarella salad, chlodnik (cold buttermilk cucumber soup), redskin potato salad and an amazing array of gorgeous grilled vegetables with a fresh herb vinaigrette.
And what was all this culinary and decorative splendor in honor of? Thankfully a really good book. We read Per Petterson's Out Stealing Horses and it is fantastic. (Warning to all relatives--you'll probably get a copy of this for your birthday or Christmas!) Stylistically the novel is very quiet--even shocking events are related with a lack of histrionics. And the plot of an old man remembering the most significant summer of his youth is contemplative without ever getting sentimental. What amazes me still when I think back to the book is the subtlety with which the author told his story and how much he left out. This is a book that trusts its readers to fill in the gaps--there isn't one moment I can think of that is obvious and there were many times where I re-read a scene to make sure what I thought was happening was what was really happening. I also loved how every question wasn't answered--there were plenty of gaps in the story, particularly in the part told in the present, that are never explained. But then, this is a book that exemplifies the "show rather than tell" dictum of good writing. Like Meagan's gracious and elegant hosting, this book is a hard act to follow.

Whew and catch up #1

We are back among the non-technologically cursed! Well, Brian's still suffering a bit but I am happily typing on my whiz-bang new computer. It has taken me a little while to shift and organize all my crap on this computer and I still don't know the in's and out's of the new operating system. But suffice it to say there is no longer a cloud of static and swear words hovering over our house.

Now it is my task to do some catch up posts that took place while I was in techno-la-la-land. First up:

The Lady Food Blogger's Picnic!

Patti and Kim had the brilliant idea to invite together local women food-freaks who they had encountered on the blog o' sphere for a face to face meet up and pig out. Thanks to their social and organizational skills, I got to meet the authors behind:

64 sq ft kitchen
The Community Farm Kitchen
A2eatwrite
Teacher in the Hood
Mother's Kitchen
The Farmer's Marketer
The Hungry Masses
Eat Close to Home
Fruitcake or Nuts
Diana Dyer
Could you hum a few bars?
and Victoria who runs the Local Food Workgroup

Once we got over being seen in person, we settled around a table groaning with food and got to know each other. It was impossible to get a bit of everything on one plate. My first attempt looked like this:

Starting at the top: a green salad with cilantro dressing, beet salad, bbq beef, brown rice and kale, swiss chard custard, kale chips, and baguette with white bean dip.

Here are a few photos of other delicacies which I consumed on round two:

Patti's star biscuits and strawberry jam

A cous cous salad

Completely addictive raspberry lemonade--I think I drank about 4 mugs full of this bliss.

There was also dessert which included a lovely red current tart (recipe here), an olive oil and walnut cake (recipe here) with balsamic drenched plums, and some classic cherry pie. Yes, I tried all of them. And then I slouched down in my chair to accommodate my stuffed belly and went into a lovely food coma.

What did I bring? I brought the raw beet salad. Unfortunately I didn't take a pic (just that little pile of magenta peeking out from under the green salad above). A few folks who aren't fond of beets tried it at the picnic and asked for the recipe, and then I tried out the leftovers on a friend who is married to a Ukrainian and her dislike of beets has been a source of conflict in their otherwise happy marriage. She had two servings (along with a sigh of relief) and also wanted the recipe to ensure future marital bliss. As a beet lover, I liked the salad but missed the earthiness that comes out when beets are roasted. But this lack of the "dirt factor" was probably what the beet-haters among us appreciated.

The Power-to-Convert-Beet-Haters Salad
loosely adapted from the Stonesoup blog recipe

4 or 5 medium sized raw beets, peeled (put on rubber gloves to do this--it'll stain the bejeezus out of your palms)
zest of one orange
juice of 1/2 orange
2 T red wine vinegar
2 t whole grain mustard
4 T olive oil
1 C toasted chopped walnuts
1/2 C chopped flat-leaf parsley
1/4 C chives, chopped (optional)
1/4 C fresh basil, chopped (optional)
1/2 C crumbled feta (optional)
kosher salt and pepper to taste

1. Grate the beets using a food processor (or manually, but prepare to be splattered with magenta juice).
2. Whisk together orange juice, zest, vinegar, mustard, olive oil and salt and pepper in a medium sized bowl.
3. Toss the beets with the dressing. Let sit for at least 1/2 hour (but can happily sit overnight in the fridge too).
4. Before serving, toss in the walnuts, parsley and other herbs if you are using them. Top with crumbled feta.
5. Warn the beet neophytes that their pee will turn pink after consuming this salad, otherwise they might get a little freaked out.
   

Posh Nosh

Thanks to MJ for directing my attention to this hysterical British parody cooking show, Posh Nosh. I haven't watched all the episodes yet, but so far episode number 8 is my favorite--Brian and I were hooting with laughter.

I love the way they take the normal cooking verbs and replace them with absurd synonyms: alineate (slice) and excite (saute) the chorizo, exonerate (pour off) the fat, jig (sift) the flour, savage (chop) the leeks, embarrass (peel) the garlic clove, waltz (add) in the rest of the milk.

But there are so many things to love--the repressed hostility between the husband and wife, the snarky comments about peasants and commoners, the ridiculous theme song, even the Posh Nosh parody products advertised during the credits. Do you fancy trying "Provencal Capers in a Wild Monkfish & Red Onion Marmelade"? Me neither. Each episode is under ten minutes so I'm trying to ration myself and not just watch them all in a binge. They are perfect for days when I take myself too seriously in the kitchen.

Techno whine

Remember that cute iMac I bought as an antidote to my computer problems?

Sigh.

One month later, I am worse off that I was before. Now I have NO computer, having over optimistically bequeathed my former PC to my kid to make room on my desk for the shiny new Mac.

What happened to the Mac? I got a lemon. It crashed 10 times in a row after I set it up. I finally figured out how to get it to give me an error code, called it in and was told to take it to the Apple store for repair. When I got there they informed me that while they could replace the hard drive right away, they didn't have the other part that was failing, a little heat sensor and it would take a week to get it in (a week? WTF?). I sighed and left my computer at the store.

A week later I got a call saying that they had replaced both items and the computer was still crashing and spitting out error codes. The guy on the phone recommended giving up on this computer and getting a replacement. The only hitch? It'll take another 2 weeks to get the replacement (2 weeks? WTFlyingF?).

I thought about lugging the bequeathed PC back down stairs (it doesn't have a wireless card yet so I can't use it for internet access), reattaching the snarl of wires and just going back to the way things were. But I've decided instead to try this weird thing called "Patience." I know, it's a strange concept waiting for stuff, particularly in this age of instant gratification. I'm trying to make it a little life-lesson. But it doesn't really go well with blogging. I have nowhere to upload my photos and there are a few posts, particularly one of the Lady Food Blogger's Party hosted by the amazing Patti AKA Teacher in the Hood which I attended recently and the meeting of my book/eating group that is happening tonight, that really deserve to have their photographic glory displayed.

How am I posting this whine, you ask? The answer is, not easily. The technological cloud that hovers over our house affected not only the iMac lemon, but my husband's PC which got infected with a load and a half of spyware and viruses at just about the same moment that I was plugging in the iMac for the first time. (Yes, he is an engineer and should have known better than to let his anti-virus subscription expire in 2005, but as I've said before, he is the optimist of the family, though perhaps a little less optimistic since his poor computer was messed with.) After much tinkering, his computer is still not back to normal, but it will now let us connect to the web again. There is a lot of stuff it won't do and poor Brian is going through some Medal of Honor Pacific Assault and Need for Speed 3 withdrawal, but I'm enjoying his company in the long summer evenings more. (See? That's me looking at the bright side, something I don't normally do!). My productivity has been affected by our technological challenges, but while the kids are at morning camp this week, I've been spent time in my son's room at his small desk with the functional but not-connected-to-the-internet PC and cranked out another 2000+ words on my neglected novel. I like to think that writing while immersed in a kid-atmosphere (and picking the bits of K'nex from between my toes) is helping the atmosphere of my fiction, but truth be told, I'll be happy to return to my grown up office as soon as a functional computer arrives. Cross your fingers for me; this household needs all the good technology karma it can get.

Cripes!

One of the key items that kept us sane while driving from Colorado back to Ann Arbor was a book on CD that I checked out of the library. I had read Kate Dicamillo's The Tale of Desperaux a few years ago and thought it was a lovely book; when I saw the audio version, I thought the kids would like it and it was a book that I wouldn't mind revisiting.

Now I'm raving about this book on CD to everyone I know, even those folks who don't have kids. It really was one of the best readings I have experienced. Graeme Malcom captured every nuance of the prose and each character's voice was incredibly distinct. Sometimes I feel like an audio book is a nice supplement to reading the book, but doesn't necessarily capture everything the printed book has to offer; maybe it is the pacing or maybe it just doesn't match up with the voices I hear in my head. But this book on CD stands alone just fine and does an even better job with the various accents than I could in my imagination. The kids loved it and so did Brian to the point that we didn't want to stop the car because then we'd have to stop the story. We've taken to quoting memorable lines to each other: Miggery Sow's "Gaw!", Antoinette's "Eeet eeez such a disappointment" and Desperaux's brother's regular exclamation "Cripes!"

I also brought along an audio copy of some Junie B. Jones books (which we've never read but a mom I know told me that her kids laughed at the audio version) and found the narrator's voice so excruciatingly shrill that it was only on for about 5 minutes before I hit the eject button. Believe me, we didn't need to import any more examples of shrillness into that car; my kids were doing a fine job on their own!

I selfishly brought with me the second half of Inkspell on CD (at 15 CDs it takes a while to get through) which I listened to on my mp3 player. I'm sure Brian would have enjoyed this book, but I thought it was too scary for the kids. The first book, Inkheart, was read by Lynn Redgrave, who I thought did a pretty good job with the reading--her voice is deep enough that she can capture the male characters well. But Inkspell was better, both in the plot and in the reading. It was read by Brendan Frasier, who apparently has become good buddies with Cornelia Funke and appears as Mo in the forthcoming movie of Inkheart. The plot of the novel is perfect for a book-dweeb like me in which the people in the book find they can "read" themselves into the plot of their favorite novel. The rampant book-love that runs throughout the series is very gratifying (one of the characters refers to her books as "her children") and Inkspell also played with all kinds of perplexing literary questions about narrative, agency and rewriting of plots. I can imagine some happy grad student writing a paper about the meta-narratives in the book and how the author handles all of them (if only they let grad students read something as fun as this book). Though I think this is a well-read book on CD, I did need to go back and read the book in the hardcover version when we got back. One thing I discovered was that Funke starts each chapter with a quotation and these quotations are not in the audio version. Many of them are really lovely and varied so I was happy to get these little gems of authorial emphasis in addition to the chance to read at my own pace and wallow in the plot for as long as I liked.

And to close with a bit of good news, the third book in the trilogy, Inkdeath, comes out in October!